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Case Jokes

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."
"As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife."
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don't wake up alone.
Food Poems
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I donโ€™t care what is on your plate;
I donโ€™t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, itโ€™s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

โ€œYou want to taste my fish?โ€ Iโ€™m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answerโ€™s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
โ€œYour fries look really good!โ€ They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

Iโ€™m sorry if that is the case โ€“
Dessert Iโ€™ll split just fine;
But when the mealโ€™s delivered โ€“
You eat yours and Iโ€™ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)
Cherry Puns
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you donโ€™t believe me โ€“ but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Yard Puns
During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, despite our numerous arguments.
It was a case of he shed, she shed.
Orange Puns
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
In case of an emergency, pull down the zipper on my pants.
Funny Money Quotes
โ€œMoneyโ€™s only something you need in case you donโ€™t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
โ€œMoney is something you have to make in case you donโ€™t die.โ€ Max Asnas.
โ€œMoneyโ€™s only something you need in case you donโ€™t die tomorrow.โ€ โ€“ Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
Food Quotes
โ€œI always carry a knife in my purse, just in case weโ€™re having cake.โ€
โ€• Unknown
Onion Puns
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
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