Carries Jokes

I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"

A shepherds spy.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives.
The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door."
The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones."
The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
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