Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
There once was a young man called Kyle,
who worked at the circus a while.
He flew through the air,
with hardly a care,
and that's why his body's in a pile.
There was a Young Lady whose bonnet,
Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
But she said: 'I don't care!
All the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!'
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!

I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
I was taking care of my friend’s snake while he was on vacation, but somehow it crawled into our freezer and died.
I asked my wife, “What should I tell him?”
“Just give it to him straight.”
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care.