Birds

I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
There was an Old Man, on whose nose,
Most birds of the air could repose;
But they all flew away
At the closing of day,
Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
As the birds fly south
I make reservations to
Go to Florida.
What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
The feathers.

Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.