Behind Jokes

What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
People tend to compare aging to a bottle of wine.
You find yourself a little stout and round,
And dust may litter your behind.
Like the grapes that create a fine wine,
The fruits of your labor have become your wisom from age.
Timeless and valued beyond compare,
And the lable may need a bit of repair.
But unlucky for you,
None of this is true.
I wish I could say something better,
My friend, you have aged like cheddar.
There’s a rumor going ‘round it’s my birthday today;
they say that I’m seventy years old..…no way.
too many candles to light,
it would take into the night.
When did I suddenly turn old and grey.

Some say I’m an old man and not too smart,
but I say don’t put the horse behind the cart;
‘cause age is just a number
not something to encumber,
and this old man is still young at heart.
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
When my cat sleeps, he snoozes
Inside the laundry basket,
Or on top of a tree,
Crammed inside a shelf,
Where no-one can see.
In empty shopping bags,
And cartons made of cardboard,
On piles of books and newspapers,
And suitcases that are stored.
Curled up under furniture,
In places we’d never think to look.
Or nestled behind a flower pot,
In a hard to find nook.
Since my cat sleeps for at least sixteen hours each day
He must be bored of sleeping in the same old way!

(Santhini Govindan)
Girl, you should not have covered your beautiful eyes behind those Versace sunglasses.
"Behind every successful man is a woman; behind her is his wife."
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
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