A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
The Doctor could tell right away the bucket was sick.
It was looking a bit pale.
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”
Benjamin Franklin
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Older women to her friend about remarrying, “When I pass away I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.”
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,

About Six-tea years to date,

Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,

her cupious amazing traits

Her balanced demeanour

Her Kindness and (earl) grace,

rooibost sense of humour,

too many to name in this teany space,

to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,

let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,

While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,

It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”