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Arm Jokes

Couch Puns
My chair is missing an arm and a leg.
That doesn't sit well with me.
Tableware Puns
What happened to your arm, Greg? And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs?
"You know what they say, Margaret"
"Thyme heals all wounds".
Dolphin Puns
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Zombie Puns
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Mosquito Puns
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
Arm Puns
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Goblin Puns
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Keyboard Puns
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Shark Puns
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Ancient Rome Puns
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Music Pick Up Lines
My bowing arm is pretty sore… Because you just made my tremolo.
Frankenstein Puns
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Animal Puns
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
Vaccine Puns
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Seal Puns
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
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