A Pessimist, an Optimist, and a Literalist go Hunting.
An optimist, a pessimist, and a literalist go hunting together. They make camp and agree that one will go hunting while two stay at camp.
The pessimist asks to go first thinking that there won't be anything to hunt and wants to get it out of the way. They leave camp. Many hours later, they return with a young deer.

"Wow! Exclaimed the others, "How did you get that?!"
"Well", the pessimist offered gloomily, "I found some tracks, and after walking forever and ever, I saw the deer and Boom! I shot him."
"That doesn't sound so bad!" Exclaimed the optimist. And with that, the optimist left camp to go hunt.
Not too long after they return dragging a ten-point buck behind them.
"That's amazing!" Cried the others, "How on earth did you manage that?"
"Just like the pessimist", smiled the optimist, "I found some tracks, followed them, and Boom! I shot myself a ten-point buck!"

"This is going to be easy," stated the literalist. "You've both shown me exactly what I need to do, so I'm bound to have the best kill off all!" And with that, the literalist left camp.
Hours passed. Night fell, and morning came, all with no sign of the literalist. The other two became extremely worried and agreed to go look for them. But just before they left, the literalist appeared.
They dragged themselves along the ground, beaten and bloodied, clinging to life.
"What happened?!" Cried the others.
"I don't understand," gasped the literalist. "I did exactly what you both did - I found some tracks, I followed the tracks and BOOM! I got hit by a train!"
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