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95 Hilariously Bad Jokes That Are So Lame They're Good!

By: David B.

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Sometimes, what seems like a bad joke can actually be pretty hilarious in the right context. Below, you'll find a whopping 95 of such lame jokes, so don't feel guilty if you catch yourself chuckling, because I for one couldn't help myself! We hope you'll enjoy these ridiculously bad jokes as much as we did!

Click on a topic to get started:

1. Animal Jokes
2. People Jokes
3. Marriage Jokes
4. Science Jokes
5. Bar Jokes
6. Nature Jokes
7. Sport Jokes
8. Religious Jokes
9. Other Jokes
10. Other Types of Jokes

Animal Jokes

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. bad joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No I-deer. lame joke

Where does a baby ape sleep? In an apricot. cringe puns

Why don't ants get sick? Because they have antybodies. bad puns

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator. lame puns

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. grammar jokes

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's really heavy and the other is a little lighter. bad joke

Who is a penguin's favorite relative? Aunt Arctica. bad jokes

Why is there a fish in the piano? Because it's a piano tuna... bad one liners

10.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. bad joke of the day

11.

Why is 6am like a pig's tail? Because it's twirly. most terrible joke

12.

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey. really bad puns

13.

What did the duck say to the barman? Put it on my bill. bad animal jokes

14.

What do you call a pig with 3 eyes? A piiig. spelling jokes that are lame

15.

Why do elephants drink? To forget. cheesiest joke in the world

16.

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak? A headbanger. bad joke telling

17.

Why did the frog catch the bus? His car got toad! bad animal puns

18.

Why didn't the dog want to play baseball? It was a boxer! bad dog jokes

19.

What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows. cringe puns

20.

How do you get 2 whales in a car? You start in England and drive west. most terrible joke

21.

Which dogs says 'Meow'? Police dogs working undercover. really bad jokes

22.

What do you call a lost wolf? A where-wolf. bad dad jokes

People Jokes

23.

Where do kings keep their armies? Up their sleevies! good bad jokes

24.

Why was Cinderella a bad football player? Because her coach was a pumpkin. funny bad jokes

25.

Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut. bad jokes for kids and family

26.

An unemployed jester is nobody's fool. silly one line jokes

27.

Why did the baker stop making donuts? He got tired of the hole thing! bad joke of the day

28.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man! bad pun jokes

29.

What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits. very lame jokes

30.

What happens after composers die? They decompose. very bad jokes

31.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny. funny bad lame jokes

32.

Why did the cobbler go to heaven? Because he had a good sole! terrible jokes

33.

Which month do soldiers hate the most? March! bad puns

Marriage Jokes

34.

Get a new car for your wife. It's a great deal! lame jokes about marriage

35.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years... Then we met! bad jokes about love

36.

What happened after the 2 angels got married? They lived harpily ever after. funny lame jokes about angels

37.

How do phones get married? They give each other a ring. bad jokes about marriage

38.

Why did the polygamist cross the aisle? To get to the other bride. lame jokes about polygamy

39.

I married Miss Right. Her first name is Always. romance jokes

Science Jokes

40.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You Barium. bad chemistry jokes

41.

What keeps your pants up in space? An asteroid belt. lame space jokes

42.

What did the science teacher climb? A chemis-tree. lame science jokes

43.

How do you organize a party in space? You planet. bad science joke

Bar Jokes

44.

Two men walk into a bar. The 3rd one ducks. bad cringy jokes

45.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?" cringey jokes

46.

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense. bad bar jokes

Nature Jokes

47.

48.

What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley. bad nature jokes

49.

Why is a tree better than a guard dog? It has more bark. super bad jokes

50.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes. lamest joke ever

51.

How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea saw. grammatical jokes

52.

Why can't you trust trees? Because they're shady. bad joke challenge

Sport Jokes

53.

What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing... They fast! bad joke collection

54.

Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! bad golf jokes

55.

How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? Fore! bad joke collection

56.

Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player? Love means nothing to them. bad sports jokes

57.

Where's the best place to buy a soccer shirt? New Jersey. jokes about sports

58.

What's a horse's favorite sport? Stable tennis. bad jokes about sports

59.

Why can't fish play tennis? They're scared of the net. lame jokes about tennis

Religious Jokes

60.

Need an ark? I Noah guy. jokes about religion

61.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. jokes about religion

62.

And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster. lame jokes about the Bible

63.

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything. bad Buddhist joke

64.

For long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was able... biblical jokes that are really lame

Other Jokes

65.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing. most horrible jokes

66.

What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel. really lame jokes about food

67.

What do they call cans in Mexico? Mexi-cans. Mexican jokes

68.

I stared an origami club... But it folded. lamest jokes ever

69.

What did the British cereal say? Cheerio! bad jokes about the British

70.

Why couldn't Dracula's wife sleep? Because of his coffin. terrible puns

71.

Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because they were sitting on the deck. cheesy jokes

72.

What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso. funny lame jokes

73.

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves. Russian jokes

74.

Did you hear about the 3 eggs? Two bad! food puns that are so bad they are good

75.

How do you make an egg roll? You push it. really lame jokes

76.

Why was the picture jailed? Because it was framed. play on words

77.

Why is Toblerone triangular? So it can fit in the box. lame wordplay

78.

What's green and likes snow? Skiweed. hilarious puns

79.

What do you call a snowman with a tan? A puddle. really funny jokes

80.

What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck. funny lame jokes

81.

What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon aid. bad jokes

82.

Which US state has the tiniest soft drinks? Mini-soda. American jokes

83.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese. Mexican jokes

84.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Italian jokes that are bad

85.

Which 2 letters of the alphabet are always jealous? NV bad grammar jokes

86.

What kind of coat is best put on wet? Paint. bad lame jokes

87.

Where will I find the town cemetery? In the dead center. dark humor

88.

Where do laptops go on vacation? The Big Apple. lame humor

89.

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool. bad humor

90.

What did the plate say? Lunch is on me. funny puns

91.

Why can't a rope? Because it can knot. smart puns

92.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts... very bad jokes

93.

What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots? very terrible jokes

94.

How's the new furniture store doing? Sofa so good. very horrible jokes

95.

How does a train eat? It goes chew chew! really bad joke

Other Types of Jokes

If you loved these jokes or are looking for other types of jokes, then be sure to check out the hilarious collections below:

1. Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes
2. Jokes With a Quick Punchline
3. 15 Epic 2-Liners
4. 14 Witty and Short Jokes
5. Hilarious Jokes About Men and Wives
6. A Hilarious Collection of Little Johnny Jokes
7. Three Awesome Animal Jokes
8. A Collection of Great Short Jokes
9. A Fine Selection of Dumb Jokes
10. 30 Classic One-Liners

Don't forget to share this massive collection with all of your friends and family!

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