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The 10 Tools that’ll Help You Raise Responsible Children

In today's dynamic world we are constantly busy with things and running from place to place to get as much done as possible. For the parents among us this task is not at all simple because, along with our preferences, desires, hobbies, and work, we also need to care for and raise our children.


We would all like our children to grow up to be responsible and happy adults, and some of us might wish that it could happen overnight, but to our delight, the privilege to educate and raise children is ours alone. However, we always encounter new difficulties and our children always make sure to challenge us in different situations, therefore, we’ve collected 10 simple tools that are sure to help you raise responsible and happy children. 


1. Try to see the world from the perspective of your children

Being able to see the world from the perspective of your children is essential to being a good parent, it will enable you as parents to understand how you can help them in the best way. Additionally, this will give you the ability to recognize that inappropriate behavior on their part is often related to feelings or a lack of ability in different skills. This doesn’t mean that you have to accept any this behavior, only that you should adopt a tool that will help you understand that there is meaning behind these behaviors.

2. Encourage good behavior and responsibility through attention and praise

Children love attention and sincere praise - if your children feel that you really care about them, rather than care more about controlling their behavior, their motivation for behaving well increases. Often you may forget to praise your children, but when they learn responsibility, you have to make sure you are there to praise them for the chores they finish, such as putting laundry in the hamper, taking out the garbage, cleaning their room, and more. 


3. Promote a life based on values and be a model for responsible behavior

Show your children the important things in life based on how you live, and what kind of people you want your children to be. If you want to raise polite and responsible children, show them that you also behave kindly and responsibly – take notice when your children are doing this and praise them for it. For each action or decision you make, ask yourself if this is the way you want your children to behave in the future.

4. Be flexible when possible and give them free play time

Give your children the opportunities to choose and avoid trying to control their choices unless it’s for safety or legal reasons. In addition, free play time encourages the development of thought, imagination, and complex problem-solving skills - they improve by asking themselves "what if" and finding alternative solutions to difficult situations. Make sure your children have the option to choose and that their chores don’t override their free-play time. 


5. Promote substantial goals over material goals and teach them to share

Encourage your children to do things that will promote their personal growth, their health, their ability to make meaningful connections and contribute to the community, rather than promoting material things such as economic success, popularity and improving their image. People with substantial goals are happier and are more likely to engage in many social activities.

In addition, most of us would agree that it is better to be on the giving side as opposed to the needing side in times of trouble, therefore, from an early age, ask your children to share their things with you, such as snacks and toys. Make sharing a special event, show your gratitude when they share. This will allow them to adopt this habit naturally. 


6. Show love

Expressing love for your children will not only nurture and strengthen the bond between you - it can also help and contribute to the child's ability to make lasting connections in adult life. Do not underestimate the intensity of a kiss on the cheek, a stroke of the hair, or a hug - learn how to react emotionally to your children, tell them you love them and talk to them kindly. 


7. Be authoritative

The different parenting styles can be divided into four main categories: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Each style achieves different results, and as for authority, it has been found to be the one that produces the best results - children of parents who parent this way often have higher school achievements, develop better social skills, and avoid problematic behavior.

This means that you shouldn’t be afraid to stand on your hind legs when it comes to key issues, along with expressing your fears and feelings - authority with communication. For example, if your children want to travel during the summer with friends, and you do not see fit to allow them to do so, tell them, "We do not think you should travel this summer with your friends, but let's take a trip together soon, and if all goes well, maybe next time you can go with your friends."

8. Let them fail

In today's world, it’s become the norm to give children participation trophies even if they didn’t win at something. Therefore, allowing your children to fail when they are in a crisis or a struggle, without giving prizes or gifts, can be perceived as negative in the eyes of society. However, failure may be a most important lesson they need to learn, and in fact, it has the potential to lead them to develop greater productivity and advanced skills to solve complex problems throughout their lives. So, teach your children that failure is part of life, and they shouldn’t fear it or feel shame when they do fail.


9. Take care of yourself

Stress is by far the most dreadful epidemic of the 21st century, and although it is not considered a clinical disease, it is one of the most influential factors in your child's physical or mental health. In addition, mood disorders (and possibly autism) may also be associated with stress in parents, both before and after childbirth. Therefore, you need to find what helps you stay happy and sane - find a babysitter and set aside one evening a week to go to a movie, restaurant or to do anything else you enjoy. Taking care of yourself is an important part of taking care of your children.

10. Be patient

It is important to understand that your children are first of all children, and although you want them to take responsibility for different things in their lives and help you, it is worth remembering that it will take them time to understand this. Your guidance on the way will determine whether your children will become responsible adults or not, but this should be done in such a way that you help them develop the awareness that they need to take part in things and get excited about them. Otherwise, your children will begin to see responsibility as a punishment rather than a reward - so choose your battles carefully and remember that educating a child to full responsibility is a long-term project that won’t be done with overnight.

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