Although none of us appreciate being deceived, there are certain situations where telling a white lie may be more beneficial than confronting the truth. These lies are usually told to protect our loved ones from hurtful facts, but is this always the right course of action? To shed some light on this dilemma, here are 4 scenarios where it is acceptable to tell a white lie, followed by others in which it is not permissible under any circumstances.
Four times white lies may be appropriate
Life with a partner is not always simple, and honesty is essential to maintaining healthy relationships. At the same time, there are cases where you don't have to be painfully honest. Instead, you can tell a few white lies that have no negative effect on your partner, and can even contribute to the relationship.
1. When your significant other does their best but fails
Sometimes all we want is to get a small compliment for things we do. This could be about a meal we prepared or a new outfit we bought because we liked the way it looked on us. You should consider this when it comes to your other half since no one likes receiving negative feedback from the other party. If your partner made a new dish that wasn't particularly tasty or bought an item of clothing you don't really like, a little white lie won't hurt... Consideration of feelings, even at the cost of a small lie, is an invaluable cornerstone in relationships and can make things easier for both parties in many cases.
2. When they can't handle the truth right now
Keeping aspects of our lives separate from each other is not always feasible. If you had a rough day at work, it has an impact on your attitude and all you want is some tranquility in your home. It is during these times that we should be conscious of our partners. They may be going through a rough patch and are not in a place to hear anything negative. If something that occurred at home can wait a couple of hours, it is preferable to keep it to yourself for the time being. We may not always be in a position to reply "everything is okay" when asked how things are at work or how the house is doing, but people in a negative frame of mind are not always able to think of solutions to their problems, so giving them all the details will not be of benefit.
3. When it may cause baseless jealousy
Everybody enjoys feeling attractive to others, even when we are in a committed relationship. Still, that doesn't mean that we need to display it in front of our partners. For instance, if a man or woman compliments you on your attire, you can enjoy the secret and keep it to yourself. Disclosing each and every time somebody gives us a compliment will make our partners jealous and distrustful, which is not helpful for the relationship. As long as you recognize that compliments are pleasant, but do not take them too seriously, there's no need to tell your partner. If you find that you are drawn to other people's romantic advances, it could be a sign of a deeper problem in the relationship. This requires serious attention, and in these cases even telling a white lie won't always help.
4. When it comes to the specifics of past relationships
People who are in a committed relationship usually have a past of relationships, which is natural. Sharing these stories can be beneficial to understanding our character and why we act in a certain way. It is essential to be truthful and open with your partner, yet they don't need to know every detail of your past relationships. It is helpful to give a general overview, though, so they are aware of your experiences.
Four times you shouldn't tell white lies
1. When it's about money
Concerning financial matters, there is a debate as to whether it is acceptable to tell white lies to one's partner. While they may be beneficial in some situations, they can also be detrimental to a relationship and should be avoided in order to protect both individuals. When dealing with a shared family budget, it is crucial to communicate and agree on how you will manage your funds together.
Unfortunately, in today's society, money has a huge influence on many aspects. This is why this topic should not be taken lightly since it is one of the three leading causes of divorce. For example, if you make a big purchase without informing your partner, it is imperative that you don't lie about it. Not only will the falsehood eventually be revealed, but it will also cause harm to both of you. It is of the utmost importance to be honest when it comes to financial matters. If you want to buy something costly, talk it over with your spouse beforehand. Most of the time, if it is genuinely necessary for you, they won't stop you. Instead, you will discuss together how you can pay for it so that you can acquire what you want without compromising the household, which can't be accomplished with false stories.
2. When it's about your love life before you met
It is not unusual for individuals to engage in different sexual activities prior to being in a long-term relationship, and there is no wrong with doing so. It may be uncomfortable to imagine your partner having past relationships, but it is essential to make them aware of your experiences. Additionally, if you have any issues with your sexual health or have a sexually transmitted infection, it is of the utmost importance that your partner knows in order to protect their own health.
3. When it's about the opinions of family members
Generally speaking, our relatives aren't very reticent when it comes to voicing their feelings about our partners when they're not there, and these feelings aren't always positive. For instance, if your partner is inclined to be tardy, and your parents voice their discontent, it won't do any good to relay the critical comments that were made about your partner, but it is essential that they be aware of the problem. You can prevent such clashes if you speak honestly to your partner before interacting with your family members, like saying "If my father appears distant today, it's because he is somewhat annoyed about your lateness." Our partners become part of our extended family, and so as to avert unnecessary disputes, it's important that they are aware if your family members have any issues with them and take steps to address them for the sake of the relationship.
4. When it's about your children
The best way to raise kids in a peaceful environment is for parents to stay on the same page when it comes to their education. Thus, it is not advisable to deceive your partner when it comes to matters concerning your children, such as what is going on in their lives, their relationships with friends, and their studies. For instance, if your child discloses something to you and asks you not to tell your spouse, you should not agree. It is essential not to keep any information regarding your children from those you are raising a family with. Instead, be truthful and try to search for a solution to any issues that may arise as a team.