A newly coined slang term has been coined to describe an increasingly common problem in contemporary English - phubbing. This combination of "phone" and "snubbing" refers to the hurtful feeling that someone experiences when their attention is diverted away from them in favor of looking at their phone. This can lead to serious damage to relationships, both between friends and couples. If you know what this phenomenon is, read on for tips to tackle it. Here are four signs that you or your partner may be "phubbing."
Here are four signs that you or your partner may be "phubbing":
1. An inclination to investigate one's cell phone each time it makes a sound, regardless of whether it's in the middle of an eye-to-eye discussion with somebody.
2. Employing the telephone anywhere in the home - in the lounge room, on the supper table, or even in the bathroom.
3. Offering only half the focus to the individuals present in the room while sending messages to the individuals who are not there.
4. Take out the cell phone at any given moment of fatigue or quietness when you are with your life partner.
How does this phenomenon harm our relationships and spirit?
You don't have to be a mental health specialist or an expert in socializing to understand that using a cell phone during a conversation can be considered to be uncourteous and impolite. This minor activity, however, has much more meaning than we thought. A study that took place in 2017 at the University of Shanghai uncovered that couples show signs of depression and discontent with their marriage due to their partner's persistent use of the cellphone, which interferes with the daily conversation between them.
When one of the people in the couple habitually does this, the other individual may feel emotionally isolated and begin to feel a sense of loneliness and neglect. This could lead the person to react the same way, beginning a cycle of disregard and ignorance that is likely to damage the relationship. Social media, which often attracts attention away from the couple, can lead one to compare their lives and relationships to those of others. This can result in a lack of contentment in their lives and relationships. A survey conducted at Baylor University in Texas looking into "phubbing" among couples found that 46.3% of respondents had experienced it from their partner, 22.6% said it caused arguments and 36.6% said they had depression as a consequence.
Beyond the depression and the feeling of neglect that this phenomenon can bring to a relationship, the use of the mobile phone at social events can even eat away at some of the most significant things in our lives. In a study conducted at the University of Kent in the United Kingdom in 2017, it was discovered that people who often use mobile phones during social events become rejected and less desirable by the environment, and endanger the 4 most important and basic needs of every person: the sense of belonging, self-esteem, the desire to live a meaningful life and to be in control.
Three "golden keys" that will help you overcome the phenomenon
Preventing a problem begins with recognizing it since this is the first step in finding a solution to it. Most of the time, the "token" falls when we realize that our partners have to tell us something more than once, just because we were busy with our mobile phones and weren't attentive to them. At this exact moment, we must not let it escape, but change our habits and stop ourselves while it is still "hot."
1. Set up places where mobile use is not allowed
Don't allow your cell phone to disrupt the space that you and your partner use to spend quality time together. If you step out of your house to be with each other, switch your phone to silent mode and leave it in your pocket or in the car. And if you have a romantic dinner, make sure it's not on the table. Every time an alert lights up your screen, make an effort and muster up the strength to ignore it - instead, think about how great it would be for your partner.
2."Silence" your device
If it is challenging for you to say no to alerts or sounds on your mobile phone, the most successful solution is to resolve the issue at its source. Nowadays, many mobile phones have a tracking system where you can check which applications you use the most and how much time is spent on each one. If you realize that an app is causing you lots of trouble, the most effective option is to get rid of it. However, if this is too extreme of a measure since the app is also useful for certain things, you can temporarily turn off the notifications it sends you with a "push." These small actions will lessen distractions, disconnect you from your device and help you focus on your partner.
3. Turn rehabilitation into a couple's game
Games are a fun way to turn any challenging or boring activity into a fun one. To treat your addiction you can set rules that if you succeed in meeting them you will profit, but if you fail you will have to compensate for them. For example, if you and your partner are invited to some social event, schedule in advance the period that both of you are not allowed to use the cell phone. If you fail to use it at the allotted time, you will have to clean the house or do the dishes for the next month. This is of course just one example. Even if it is not exactly the right one for you, remember that your job is to be as creative as possible. This will not only keep the problem away from you but also bring you closer to your partner.