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The Most Common Marriage Misconceptions

Marriage is a serious commitment that requires effort and dedication from both partners. Over time, various concepts have been established on how to achieve happiness in a marriage and how to appear perfect. However, these 11 myths demonstrate why a perfect marriage is unrealistic. Nonetheless, a happy marriage is achievable, and this article provides ways to avoid falling into the trap of false beliefs.

bride and groom

1. Your partner must be your best friend

It is possible to maintain a happy marriage while also having a fulfilling social life outside of the relationship. Some couples believe that they must be each other's best friend, but this is not necessary for a successful marriage. In fact, having personal space and separate circles of friends can even strengthen the relationship. It is a misconception that not being each other's best friend will have negative consequences.

2. Working hard for the marriage to work? You must be with the wrong person

It is a common misconception that marriage can change the annoying habits of your partner. In reality, people's habits and personality traits are deeply ingrained and difficult to change. Marriage is a journey that requires effort, patience, and understanding from both partners. It is important to focus on nurturing the relationship and finding ways to work through any difficulties that may arise. By maintaining a healthy and happy marriage, couples can enjoy the benefits of their hard work and overcome any obstacles that come their way.

a couple on the background of a heart

3. Getting married will change your partner's annoying habits

Married couples may experience minor changes in behavior or perception, but it's unlikely that these changes will dramatically alter the dynamic of the relationship. It's unrealistic to expect your partner to completely change who they are, and this expectation can create tension and resentment. The best approach is to accept each other's imperfections and show tolerance towards one another. Marriage is about finding compromise and working through challenges together.

4. In a marriage, you will always compromise

Psychologists say that couples have different expectations, needs, and concerns when they enter married life. Therefore, it's natural for arguments to occur, and it's impossible to prevent them completely. One spouse always compromising for the other may damage the balance that's crucial to a healthy marriage. However, setting reasonable boundaries and showing mutual respect can strengthen the relationship and ensure its stability. In situations where there is no compromise, it's necessary to find another solution and accept the fact that not everything can be settled through compromise.

5.  Marriage means saying goodbye to your love life

Psychologists dismiss the notion that getting married means the end of one's sex life. They contend that disagreements and disputes are bound to happen in any relationship, given that couples have varying expectations, needs, and concerns. It is unhealthy for one partner to always compromise their desires or needs at the expense of the other.  Dr. John Guttman, the author of "The Seven Principles for Marriage Success," advises that comparing your sex life to others will only lead to negative feelings. Every couple is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Believing the myth that marriage ruins sex can harm your relationship and lead to feelings of dissatisfaction. Instead, couples should communicate with each other to identify areas for improvement and work together to find solutions.

Conversely, established boundaries and mutual respect go a long way in building a stable and strong relationship. In some cases, it may be necessary to accept that compromise is impossible, and seek alternative solutions.

couple sleeping with their back to each other

6. Happy couples always share the burden equally

There is a common misconception that both spouses in a marriage contribute equally to all aspects of the relationship, such as running the household and financial obligations. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes, one spouse invests more time and effort than the other. It's not productive to keep track of who does more. Instead, it's better for each partner to bring their unique qualities and abilities to the relationship and contribute in the best way they can. Trying to compete with or imitate your spouse is not a healthy approach.

7. Happy couples always know what the other is thinking

Many couples believe that they don't have to share all their feelings and thoughts with each other. They think that asking for something explicitly may indicate a weak relationship. But this is not true. It's essential to communicate with your partner to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. You cannot expect your spouse to read your mind. Good communication is the key to mutual satisfaction and happiness. However, if you want to strengthen your relationship, having children is not necessarily the solution.

8. Having kids will make your relationship stronger

Many people believe that starting a family will automatically bring a couple closer together, but this is a common myth that doesn't always hold true. According to Dr. John Gutman, who was mentioned earlier, you and your partner are already a family even before having children. While having children can be a wonderful thing, it doesn't guarantee that it will solve any pre-existing problems in the relationship. In fact, Dr. Gutman warns that using a child as a way to save a struggling marriage can lead to emotional problems for the child later in life.

pregnant woman

9. Don't go to bed angry

It is undoubtedly true that the ideal option is to find a solution to a problem. However, is it realistic to expect to find a solution while in a state of emotional turmoil? It is highly likely that the situation will only worsen, and the best course of action would be to let go and come to a mutual agreement to revisit the issue at a later time. By doing so, you may gain a new perspective on the situation and find a common ground once the emotions have settled. Therefore, if you find yourself spending sleepless nights discussing painful and stressful topics, it's best to disregard the myth and take a step back.

10. Expressing love and gratitude verbally will strengthen your marriage

It is undeniable that expressing our emotions and gratitude towards our loved ones can have a significant impact. For instance, receiving a text message from our spouse saying "I love you" on a tough day can lift our spirits. However, it's important to recognize that this alone cannot solve all problems in a relationship. Actions speak louder than words, and small gestures like doing the dishes, cooking a nice meal, or taking care of the laundry can make your partner feel loved and appreciated. These actions can contribute to a positive and harmonious atmosphere at home, which is essential for a happy and stable marriage. It's worth noting that both men and women can contribute equally to a successful marriage.

love in cubes

11. Men are not as "cut out" for marriage as women are

Most people have come across the idea that men are naturally inclined towards polygamy while women are not. However, this is a myth that can be dispelled. The notion may have originated from the evolutionary tendency of males to procreate with multiple partners and females to nurture and care for their young. However, according to Dr. Annette Lawson from the University of Berkeley, cheating is not a result of gender differences but rather the availability of potential partners.

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