What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.