Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.