The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Zombies are dead but they live with it.