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Wrote Jokes

Clever Jokes

The nurse called me and said, “Under ‘medical history’, we were hoping for something specific to you.”
You wrote down “Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928.”

Snake Puns

Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.

Bathroom Puns

My wife was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
I wrote back, “Shore.”

Running Puns

Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.

History Puns

When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.

The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.

Pea Puns

The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.

Funny Limericks

There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many!

Theater Puns

There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.

Spain Puns

My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.

I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.

Piano Puns

I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.

Funny Break Up Lines

Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.

Food Pick Up Lines

If I wrote a cookbook, you'd be the featured recipe.

AC Unit Puns

The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.