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Telling Jokes

Parrot Puns
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Family Puns
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies"
I replied, "Tell him he's very good at it as well. I don't have any kids."
Tableware Puns
My car keeps telling me my door is ajar. It's not a jar you idiot it's a door.
Monster Puns
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Orange Puns
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Zombie Puns
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Meat Puns
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” - Natasha Leggero
Nuts Puns
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
Poop Puns
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Funny Birthday Poems
It’s your birthday, I know
But I couldn’t care less
Where is the cake, that’s the part I love best?
I understand it’s your birthday
But I am telling you now
If the cake doesn’t come soon
I’m throwing in the towel
Ancient Rome Puns
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Hair Puns
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Strawberry Puns
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.