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Learned Jokes

Password Puns
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Marriage Puns
Today I learned that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.
For both, it’s all relative.
Toilet Puns
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
History Puns
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Ancient Rome Puns
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Color Puns
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
Funny Aging Quotes
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
Medieval Puns
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Frankenstein Puns
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Spain Puns
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
Parrot Puns
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Pig Puns
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Chuck Norris Jokes
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Ancient Egypt Puns
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Little Johnny and the Name of the Lord
A Sunday School teacher decided to quiz her students about what they learned that year. Sunday School Teacher: "Okay class... who can tell me what are some different names used when talking about God?" Little Johnny: "Hallowed!" Sunday School Teacher: "Hallowed? How did you get that as an answer?" Little Johnny: "It’s in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name..."