Difficult Jokes

I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“You’re making it difficult for me to be the parent I always imagined I would be." - Anonymous
“The thing about parenting rules is there aren’t any. That’s what makes it so difficult.”

- Ewan McGregor.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
“Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.”

—Yoko Ono
Elephant boxing matches are very difficult to watch. It becomes tough to identify as both have grey trunks!
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream
And must paddle to keep afloat;
But one soon tired and sank to rest
With a gurgling sigh in his throat.
The other paddled away all night,
And not a croak did he utter,
And with the coming of morning light
He rode on an island of butter.
The flies came thick to his island home
And made him a breakfast snappy.
The milkmaid shrieked and upset the pail,
And froggy hopped away happy.
We can all find a moral in this rhyme,
And should hasten at once to apply:
Success will come in the most difficult time
If we paddle and never say die!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!