Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."