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herd immunity Jokes

herd immunity Jokes and more.
Vaccine Puns
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Space Puns
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
Sheep Puns
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
A Blond Changes Hair Color
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?" queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Pear Puns
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
Cow Puns
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
Food puns
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
The Difference Between the Economies
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SOCIALISM The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away. VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Unicorn Puns
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
Meat Puns
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Elephant Puns
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
Zombie Puns
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Keyboard Puns
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Crow Puns
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
Llama Puns
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
Goat Puns
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Travel Puns
Cows that travel alone?

Never herd of them!
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
The Leather Worker
A leather worker was flying to Australia when his plan crashed. As bad luck would have it, he got separated from the rest of the floating passengers and found himself stranded on a small deserted island. Desperate to survive, the leather worker searches the island for food to eat. Luckily, he finds a herd of docile cows on the island. He successfully hunts one of the cows and skillfully cleans and prepares the cow's skin and meat for himself. With a steady supply of food, the leather worker knew it was time to find a way off the island. He decides to make a large canopy out of the cow's leather and used some leaves to spell out S.O.S that could easily be seen from above. A few days later, a passing plane spots the message, and calls a ship to rescue the man. It just goes to show you that when all else fails, the best thing to do is to hide in plane sight.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so I came over!
Horse Puns
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.