I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
Seas the day.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Whale, hello there.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Tis the sea-sun.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep