What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
The ocean made me salty.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Tropic like it's hot.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!