Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.