When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.