What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft