Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Beach, please.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Feeling fintastic.
Water you doing?
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.