I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.