What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.