The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Seas the day.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.