Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Beach, please.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!