Feeling fintastic.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.