What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.