What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.