While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Don't get tide down.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.