Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Feeling fintastic.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.