There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.