When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Feeling fintastic.
Tropic like it's hot.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Seas the day.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.