A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.