What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Tropic like it's hot.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
If there's a will, there's a wave.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.