Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?