What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Beach, please.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Water you doing?
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker