Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Beach you to it.