Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.