What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
I can sea clearly now.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.