Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Tropic like it's hot.
Don't get tide down.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.