Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.