What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.