Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Sea you at the beach.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!