What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Seas the day.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
Shell yeah.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Are you squiding me right now?
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.