I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.