How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
Feeling fintastic.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.