What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.