Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.