How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Tropic like it's hot.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.