The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.