What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Avoid pier pressure.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.