What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
Beach you to it.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Beach, please.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!