What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
Sea you at the beach.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Whale, hello there.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
Salty but sweet.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.