If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Water you doing?
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.