Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Water you doing?
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Sea you at the beach.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.