What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.