Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Salty but sweet.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Avoid pier pressure.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
I can sea clearly now.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
Beach, please.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.