Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.