How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.