What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.