What is the color of the wind? Blew!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
The ocean made me salty.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.